For The Most Part Uncontaminated
Genre: Kindle Edition
Brand: Long Midnight Publishing
Author: Douglas Lindsay
Price: £0.00
“Experts predict that within ten years of the rise of ebooks, publishing will implode, all decent writers will retire and start working at Tesco, 99% of books will be written in a sweat shop in Dagenham, the moral fibre of planet earth will vanish, moral outrage will spread like the plague, and as a result the plague will spread like the plague and flesh will fall off the faces of children as young as five...”
For over ten years Douglas Lindsay has been one of Britain’s most eclectic commentators, producing a curate’s egg of ideas, observations, commentary, outrage and occasional pieces of entirely fabricated investigative journalism. Now, for the first time, highlights from this random collection have been assembled into one volume. FOR THE MOST PART UNCONTAMINATED contains a variety of words, assembled in no particular order into such articles as:
Someone Like You vs You Oughta Know: Which Is The Bigger Psycho Song?
Bloody Scotland, Independent
The Distilled Essence of Pussy Galore
10 Christmas Songs That Are Crimes Against Humanity
The Slartibartfast Paradigm
There's A Windfarm Outside My Window
The Wacko Boffin’s Guide To Climate Change
and many more.
EXCERPT:
According to the Avon press release, Gemma Arterton, this year’s Bond Girl and the face of the new fragrance said, “I'm thrilled to be working with two such iconic and established brands. The Bond Girl 007 fragrance embodies everything a Bond Girl represents – intelligence, sexiness and confidence.”
She didn’t really say that, did she? She took the money and let the admen put words in her mouth. She sold her soul to Satan. She will never work again.
To quote further from the press release: The scent is a sexy cocktail of velvety florals, cool freshness and warm woods. It features top notes of velvety white peach and orange blossom followed by mid-notes of jasmine, calypso orchid and freesia. The drydown consists of amber, cashmere wood and patchouli.
Perfect with chicken or seafood or to drink on its own as a light appetiser.
The people who write this stuff are the true literary geniuses of our day. Gripped by the spirit of Hemingway, they continue: Bond Girl 007 is housed in a sleek, seductive bottle reminiscent of a woman’s body.
It looks like a dildo.
How far can we be from Bond appearing magically in some woman’s kitchen saying, “Dirty shocks? You need all-new Jamesh Bond Shillet Bang...”?
For over ten years Douglas Lindsay has been one of Britain’s most eclectic commentators, producing a curate’s egg of ideas, observations, commentary, outrage and occasional pieces of entirely fabricated investigative journalism. Now, for the first time, highlights from this random collection have been assembled into one volume. FOR THE MOST PART UNCONTAMINATED contains a variety of words, assembled in no particular order into such articles as:
Someone Like You vs You Oughta Know: Which Is The Bigger Psycho Song?
Bloody Scotland, Independent
The Distilled Essence of Pussy Galore
10 Christmas Songs That Are Crimes Against Humanity
The Slartibartfast Paradigm
There's A Windfarm Outside My Window
The Wacko Boffin’s Guide To Climate Change
and many more.
EXCERPT:
According to the Avon press release, Gemma Arterton, this year’s Bond Girl and the face of the new fragrance said, “I'm thrilled to be working with two such iconic and established brands. The Bond Girl 007 fragrance embodies everything a Bond Girl represents – intelligence, sexiness and confidence.”
She didn’t really say that, did she? She took the money and let the admen put words in her mouth. She sold her soul to Satan. She will never work again.
To quote further from the press release: The scent is a sexy cocktail of velvety florals, cool freshness and warm woods. It features top notes of velvety white peach and orange blossom followed by mid-notes of jasmine, calypso orchid and freesia. The drydown consists of amber, cashmere wood and patchouli.
Perfect with chicken or seafood or to drink on its own as a light appetiser.
The people who write this stuff are the true literary geniuses of our day. Gripped by the spirit of Hemingway, they continue: Bond Girl 007 is housed in a sleek, seductive bottle reminiscent of a woman’s body.
It looks like a dildo.
How far can we be from Bond appearing magically in some woman’s kitchen saying, “Dirty shocks? You need all-new Jamesh Bond Shillet Bang...”?